Question: Can you please talk about your years with Swamiji?

Babaji:

For me, I visualize Him as everything, as Ardhanarishwara. My mind naturally surrendered to Him; it was not planned or worked out. Then I was initiated into the mantra ‘Om Shivaya Shivabalayogendraya Parabrahmanaya’, and He became my Mother, Father and everything. Even now, if a problem comes in the Mission, I don’t have to do anything - He sorts it out so beautifully. The problems just melt away. If we get panicked, we need to consider everything is His. In the state of advaita - non-duality - only He exists. In this creation, as a devotee, He is my Guru.  

When He was physically with us, the more He tested me, tried to be harsh to me, tested my devotion - that made me more stubborn to be devoted to Him. “Even if you cut me up, I’ll continue to serve You.” When such natural devotion occurred, I found my life had no meaning without Him.

Thus at the end of my tapas, when God appeared in physical form before me, God said, “Because of your tapas I have come. You don’t need your Guru anymore. You can go out, and have a large following.”  To this, spontaneously I replied, “I want only my Guru’s Lotus Feet.” So no power should be able to disturb that devotion to the Guru.