Question: When you were doing service, did you think you would later do tapas?

Babaji:

My idea was not to exactly aim for this as it is now. I simply served and focused on that service. After my Guru passed, some visions came and made me sit for tapas. Initially after Swamiji attained mahasamadhi I withdrew and had a vision of Swamiji and He told me, "The ripe time has come to do tapas." I was not sure I could go for such long meditations for years, though I had done long meditations up to eight hours. Swamiji said in the vision, "The destiny, the ripe time is now to do tapas." I didn't think of tapas except early in the period of service. Others of Swamiji's disciples went into tapas and I asked Him, "What will these people do after tapas?" He replied, "They will serve Me only." I only wanted to serve Him and so the desire for tapas grew slowly.  But then I saw that one disciple in tapas got up and went away - so my desire for tapas went away after that.

In 1984 I asked Swamiji on my birthday to bless some vibhuti so I could go into tapas. He told me, "If you do it now, you might become egotistic and go away from Me." So after hearing this I lost interest in tapas as I only wanted to serve. I saw myself as the servant, the watchman of the ashram. I did eventually go for longer meditations up to eight hours, but Swamiji Himself told me, "This service of looking after the ashram and the mentally-handicapped boy, this is a sadhana for you and will take away your karmas."