Question: Baba, just now I have received news that my Father will die tonight. My Father had a decent heart combined with a terrible selfish side. I always felt he was trying to destroy me, break me down into pieces. For a long time I have felt I would give him complete forgiveness at the moment of his death because at that moment he would see himself clearly and he would want my forgiveness. Please help me to forgive my Father and set him free. Please pray for his soul.
It's nice that you are ready to forgive your Father. After all, all the relationships are only while the physical body is there. Once the body gives way, no other relationship is left or remembered by the soul. It's only a soul and has no other identity. Depending on it's (consciousness) acquired habits of mind, that consciousness would assume another body. Anyway, we will pray for the father's soul, for a peaceful transition and that the Divine's blessings be showered for wisdom, consideration to others and spiritual inclination in the next life.
We all have suffered and have seen some of the worst people who are simply greedy and with animal instincts. What to do? Still there are some goodhearted, sincere, worthy people also there, like the lotuses in the midst of dirty mud, roses in the midst of thorns. I remember Ramana Maharshi, when one day He was coming around Tiruvannamalai Mountain, a devotee who was following saw a thorn getting stuck into the Master's toes. When he ran to remove that thorn, Maharshi smiled and said, "Which thorn are you talking about?" Then he showed the bottom of His toes. To the surprise of the devotee, he saw all over the toes there were lot of thorns. Maharishi was walking quietly with all those thorns.
Actually all problems are within the mind, when it recognizes the existence of the universe, analyzes and judges. In the process, the mind takes the imprint (vasanas). That is the beginning of the trouble. It is something like, if the cinema is recognized as real by the mind, it gets agitated. If there is the realization that it is unreal and an illusion (through practice and firm experience), the mind will not absorb the imprint and there is no problem. It's amazing! The mind, when it goes back to the status of Soul, feels nothing.