Mother's Day 2015
Babaji talks about His Mother
The single-pointedness that comes with actual meditation, not trying to meditate but actually meditating, that had come to You before You met Swamiji even? Or only after You met Swamiji?
Before I met Swamiji. Because, for the Divinity I had enormous love within me from the heart. So that enabled me to focus. Like, whenever I went to temple means that deity, I never visualized any stone or any simple idol, for me it was a Divine sitting there. So I used to keep talking and that was like a best friend so that type of thing was always there. I visualized that Divinity so my mind was focussed. So that was how I think, when I met Swamiji all that focussed mind fell in love with Him, simply went on to Him and I became mad after Swamiji.
I went and told my Mother, "I want Swamiji, I want Swamiji." I didn't know the meaning of that, what "I want Swamiji." I had fallen in love, I just wanted that One. So that type of single-pointedness was there.
And that was what my Mother also wanted to see when she asked, "You stay back for three more years with me. And even after three years if your mind is unwaveringly focussed on going to Swamiji." Many times she asked, "What do you mean that you are telling that you want Swamiji, you want Swamiji. Remaining here also you can have Swamiji. Having Him – what do you mean, that one?"
I didn't know how to explain, I knew I want Swamiji. So after three years, in those three years also it remained the same. After three years also it was simply there. Like in those three years she sent me sometimes to movies, she sent me to attend some family weddings, she tried whether the mind would waver or get attracted to anything else. But the mind did not get attracted to anything else, though physically these things happened but mind was totally focussed on Swamiji.
So that single-pointedness was there. Somewhere, probably since childhood it was there, or by birth it was there, I don't know exactly when it started, it was there.
When she asked You to stay for three more years after You had fallen in love with Swamiji, were those three years very difficult for You to stay and not leave as soon as You fell in love with Him?
There was a little bit of difficulty there. But still just, like, I loved my Mother and I was brought up in such a culture that I wouldn't be rebellious, simply listen to her. So even today I would be very grateful to her, had she not permitted graciously perhaps I wouldn't have been so rebelliously run away from my home. So that held me, I think. It was not really very difficult. It was a bit difficult also. Fifty-fifty. [laughter]
Did she know Swamiji?
No, she had not met. She met Swamiji after I came to Ashram only. She was watching me, I think. She did not meet Swamiji before I came to Ashram, only after I joined the Ashram in 1974, a couple of years later only she actually met Swamiji. In 1976 she went to see Swamiji.
I think, my Mother though was very soft-spoken she had enormous inner strength. She had seen the world and its difficulties, tough times. Like during the Second World War she was with my Father in Burma, my Father was working with the army as a doctor, and for a long, long time she had to stay alone in big bungalows on the outskirts of the townships where the cantonment areas would be there. And she used to see the dogfights of the aeroplanes, bombings, this type of thing. And long-time devotional practices, she used to say, sustained her to come out of any fear. She had that composement.
Even my eldest brother who was born there, used to tell, sometimes when the siren used to sound for the air attacks my Father used to be restless, used to be shouting, "Let us go to the bunkers, down, quickly, quickly." She used to be very peaceful, "If anything has to happen, it will happen. No need to shout and lose our patience." So that type of lady she was. She had patience and enormous inner strength was there. I think that sustained her.
She probably wanted to see whether I would be determined once I go there. She always knew that life is always a mixture of good/bad, difficulties and happiness/unhappiness that type of thing. She just wanted to see that I will sustain and keep moving on the same path to achieve my goal. Once she was convinced she blessed and sent me, even without meeting Swamiji, she had not even seen the Ashram or its atmosphere. I don't know what confidence came to her. She just blessed and sent me.
She just took one promise. "Promise me that you will not come back from the path and you must achieve."
Did her attitude towards You change after You attained? Was there an acknowledgement a recognition that You had attained?
That recognition I could see in her when I was doing Tapas. She came to see me on the fourth year. For four years she could not come, she was ailing also. She was in her mid-eighties, and finally she became determined, she wanted to see. And my brothers brought her from Bangalore to Delhi it was a long three days of train journey and another seven to eight hours by road journey to Dehradun. But she was very determined; she had that strong will-power. She came and stayed with me for three or four days. At that time she touched my feet and she said, "I'm now happy that you have achieved this thing. God has given me what I really wanted from you. And I will not disturb you by staying here long time. I want you to focus and finish this thing." Saying that she left on the fourth day and went.
Recorded 06 May 2014